Ryan Gosling Is Really Good At Not Drawing Attention To Himself

Where there's a Ryan Gosling covering his face with a Famous Monsters Magazine, there's a Joyce DeWitt look-alike who's trying to strap herself to his carry-on so he has no choice but to take her on a sky ride of love.

So yeah, Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are still nibbling on each other's wet parts and suddenly they're all coy about it. Ryan and Eva spent their New Year's in NYC together, and when they showed up at JFK and arrived at LAX yesterday, they both had their faces covered like my one-night tricks when they leave my apartment in broad daylight. (Or like my family members preparing themselves for the rancid scent of invisible butt smoke when I reached for a fourth piece of pistachio cake at Christmas Day lunch.)